How can you fairly assess something from the outside looking in? The majority of times, you’ll be wrong, nah’mean? How can a m*th*rf*ck*r go around and hate a nigga he never even met, he don’t even know? – Jay-Z, “Lucky Me”
I’ve been on this journey for 27 years, 6 months, & 24 days young. And I feel lucky today because I took 2 lost people and set them on the path to fulfill their dreams. I told them that since they were disappointed in themselves they should do what motivates them in order to change their circumstances. It sounds like something fairly simple but considering what was put in motion, that sentence was profound. I am one of those people was me.
Even though I’m 27 years, 6 months, & 24 days young, I can’t start at the beginning. I’ll start when I was 13 years young, because that’s when I was introduced to goal setting and I learned that I could do anything I put my mind to. If you did the math, my birthday is May 9th. Well shortly after my 13th birthday, I set 2 goals, 1st that I would not go into high school a virgin and 2nd that I would do everything I could to get into some out of state college. I had to get away from my parents and prove to myself that I could do something by myself.
The 1st goal was not easy at all. I was always good with women, but I had never been past first base and I was deep down the shyest guy you could ever meet. (And I’m still shy, but if you meet me or “know” me, you’ll probably call me cocky, confident, or a number of other antonyms for shy. But that’s from the outside looking in.) Ultimately I reached my goal with just over a week or 2 to spare.
The 2nd goal was my real test. I would have to apply myself more than I knew. I was ill prepared for this. I floated through high school because I wanted to be the “cool guy” in school. I knew the work, hell I finished my freshman algebra book in 3 months, my final grade was a “C”, failure wasn’t an option. I never knew that I was failing myself anyway. In 10th and 11th grade I basically did the same thing. Until the middle of the 3rd quarter of my 11th grade year, I was expelled from my high school because I was blamed for something I didn’t do and I’ve always cut off my nose to spite my face. I was put in my “neighborhood” high school. I was first suspended for a week. During that week I realized that I had pissed away any chances of getting a scholarship. My mom chewed me out every day that I was home. My 1st day at my new school I felt like, “damn they are right about neighborhood schools.” Then I met a few of my teachers. They saw something in me that I thought I had lost around the same time I bust that 1st nut. They saw potential and a need to be successful. Over the next year I felt like I had never been to high school before and had to learn everything all over again. I swear to you that I learned more during that time than I did during my whole school career. I met 3 of my best, lifelong friends during that time. Chris, George, and Frogg (Andre;) They all had the same drive I had.
The day finally came for me to take my first college tour. I only signed up if the school was out of state. I went to the AUC for a week and fell in love. I had to go to Morehouse (or Spelman if I could.) I only applied to Morehouse, Clark Atlanta, Morris Brown College, and Lincoln (my mom put that application in without my knowledge.) The 1st letter came, I didn’t get into Clark. That pretty much let me know I wasn’t getting into Morehouse and the letter confirmed it a few days later. About a week or so later Morris Brown sent me a package and said I was accepted. I’ll take it.
That summer I spent with my eventual roommate Jeff. We drove down to Atlanta together and that set it in motion. We went to freshman orientation and I saw the eventual mother of my children. I had to have her. It took me a while but the story ends with her being the mother of my children, not my wife and yes it ended badly and yes it was probably my fault.
I always thought that if I had children early in my life; my life would be over. Instead I had 2 of the world’s most beautiful children. We both decided that being 10-14 hours from our respective homes couldn’t be a good thing so we didn’t return to school.
Since then I don’t think I’ve made much progress. I was 19 when my son was born. So to come to the realization that I haven’t made much progress was definitely problematic.
I have a beautiful woman in my life now (the other person I set on the path to fulfill their dreams.) She is my everything, she’s there when I need her, she tells me when I’m wrong even if it’s going to hurt me. But I say all this to make sure I categorize stuff before I set my next set of goals.
Goal #1, I have to get a degree. Right now the competition is too close. Even if they aren’t as good as I am, because I’m a Black Man I have to make sure “it’s not even close.” (Thanks Pastor Dr. Waller – Enon Tabernacle, Philadelphia, PA.)
Goal #2, I have to find a religion. (This probably should be 1st.) I know that there is a GOD of some form but I’m scared of religion. I don’t understand how someone can lecture about something that is open to interpretation by everyone who reads it. That goes for all religions.
Goal #3, I have to do better by my kids. Last November I lost my father and my best friend. I want that kind of relationship with my son. I want to be my daughters’ reason that they want to have the best man out there and never settle for anything less than what’s best for them.
Goal #4, I have to do my mind and body better. I am committing to reading at least 1 book a month. I also have to read the Bible and the Quran before my birthday in 2009. I am also committing to running 25-30 miles a week. I also have to lose some weight because I want to play football next year.
That’s it for now. Thanks for your time; I’ll see you hear again in about a week for a check up on my progress. I'm continuing my journey.
Basim “The Dream”
Keep Dreamin!!!
P.S. Now you know a little more than the outside.
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