Everyone can't be in Your FRONT ROW.
Life is a theater so invite your audiences carefully.
Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a FRONT ROW seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships and family!
Everyone can't be in Your FRONT ROW.
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill? When you leave certain people, do you feel better… or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.
The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more you seek things honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.
You cannot change the people around you ... but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life. Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people, so those who sit in your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.
If you have to ask whether or not your in someones front row, Your probably not.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
If Spring can melt the snow away, can it thaw an icey heart???
(When I was young) You used to hold me, told me I was the best, anything in this world I wanted I could possess, all that made me want is all that I could get. In order to survive gotta learn to live with regrets... – Jay-Z, “Regrets”
I know it hasn’t been a week yet but I have to get something off my chest…
I recently took a leap of faith. I decided to move away from my family, friends, and all that was familiar in order to continue on my path of success.
My girl friend visited her sister in Atlanta and was so enamored with the city that she made it her mission to find a job and an apartment to move down there. At first I was completely against it, but as time went on and I started looking at my surroundings, (living on my grandmothers couch, not having anything that I could call my own, 3 kids and no real career.) I came to a conclusion; I needed to make a change. I read somewhere that “success breeds success.” Not meaning that if you’re around successful people you will become successful, but if you watch and learn from successful people, then apply that knowledge in your own life you too can become successful. In Philly, (not to offend anyone) I don’t know many people that I would consider successful. A few of my friends and some family members were offended when I said that to them, they feel like they are successful or on a path of success.
I might have high standards, but it’s the people that I offended that made me this way. When I was young, my mother would tell me that I could have whatever I wanted, my father made sure that I never had to put my future in jeopardy by ceasing to put his in jeopardy and getting a “real” job, my grandmothers made sure that I never wanted for anything, and my grandfather told me that I was the best. My friends wish the best for me. Just before I left Philly, my best friend and I had a huge argument. He told me that I always aimed too high and never reached my goals. He also said I never could start at the bottom.
Considering everything that I considered (all of the above,) I decided to leave. I would go to Atlanta where I would surround myself with successful people, watch, learn and apply. I would start at the bottom and climb to the top no matter how hard that climbed proves to be. I have kids that have to see me reach that apex. I have a little brother who lost a part of himself at too young an age and I need him to shoot for the stars and not consider missing. I lost a part of myself too, but now I have an angel on my shoulder and in GOD’s ear making sure he taught me the lessons I needed to learn for this journey. I have too many people cheering and praying for me, for me to fail at this point. There is at least 1 devil just waiting for me to fail and now that I know who it is, it hurts entirely too much to stop now.
I spoke to my mother today. She told me not to call her unless I need a plane ticket to come home. I learned a long time ago not to react in anger because you may hurt someone that you did not intend on hitting or inflict more damage than what you wanted. So I always make sure that my responses are calculated and tactful. I just said “Bye Mom.” When I respond believe you me I’m going to cut deep, but not too deep because she is my mom and because she motivated me even more than I was before. Now I have to prove her wrong. I have to prove the doubters wrong. I’m a very vindictive person and I’m my Mom-Mom’s child because I do not let go of a grudge. I love my mother and I just lost my father, my best friend a little or a year ago. But as of today, I lost them both. If I don’t see or talk to her again, it would be too soon. When I go to Philly to visit for the holidays, I’m going to see my grandmother’s and my father’s gravesite. You may say that’s harsh, but if you found out that the 1 person that you thought would always be in your corner is only there to make sure you give up, how would you feel??? That was part of the reason I left. My mother is 40 something and still lives with her mom. She has nothing to call her own because my grandmother was like a second mom to my brother and I so she really can only say she birthed us and “helped” raise us.
Looking back at all of my failures throughout my life I realize that my mother played an integral role in all of them. Don’t get me wrong my failures are my failures but you never do anything completely by yourself, normally someone is there that you either modeled yourself after, pushed in one direction or the other, or was just there. So far I’ve failed as a father, a student, and a son. No more. Today is the day I say it to the world, the next time I fail it will be because I tried too hard, not because I gave up.
That’s it for now. Thanks for your time, comments are welcome.
Basim “The Dream”
“Keep Dreamin”
I know it hasn’t been a week yet but I have to get something off my chest…
I recently took a leap of faith. I decided to move away from my family, friends, and all that was familiar in order to continue on my path of success.
My girl friend visited her sister in Atlanta and was so enamored with the city that she made it her mission to find a job and an apartment to move down there. At first I was completely against it, but as time went on and I started looking at my surroundings, (living on my grandmothers couch, not having anything that I could call my own, 3 kids and no real career.) I came to a conclusion; I needed to make a change. I read somewhere that “success breeds success.” Not meaning that if you’re around successful people you will become successful, but if you watch and learn from successful people, then apply that knowledge in your own life you too can become successful. In Philly, (not to offend anyone) I don’t know many people that I would consider successful. A few of my friends and some family members were offended when I said that to them, they feel like they are successful or on a path of success.
I might have high standards, but it’s the people that I offended that made me this way. When I was young, my mother would tell me that I could have whatever I wanted, my father made sure that I never had to put my future in jeopardy by ceasing to put his in jeopardy and getting a “real” job, my grandmothers made sure that I never wanted for anything, and my grandfather told me that I was the best. My friends wish the best for me. Just before I left Philly, my best friend and I had a huge argument. He told me that I always aimed too high and never reached my goals. He also said I never could start at the bottom.
Considering everything that I considered (all of the above,) I decided to leave. I would go to Atlanta where I would surround myself with successful people, watch, learn and apply. I would start at the bottom and climb to the top no matter how hard that climbed proves to be. I have kids that have to see me reach that apex. I have a little brother who lost a part of himself at too young an age and I need him to shoot for the stars and not consider missing. I lost a part of myself too, but now I have an angel on my shoulder and in GOD’s ear making sure he taught me the lessons I needed to learn for this journey. I have too many people cheering and praying for me, for me to fail at this point. There is at least 1 devil just waiting for me to fail and now that I know who it is, it hurts entirely too much to stop now.
I spoke to my mother today. She told me not to call her unless I need a plane ticket to come home. I learned a long time ago not to react in anger because you may hurt someone that you did not intend on hitting or inflict more damage than what you wanted. So I always make sure that my responses are calculated and tactful. I just said “Bye Mom.” When I respond believe you me I’m going to cut deep, but not too deep because she is my mom and because she motivated me even more than I was before. Now I have to prove her wrong. I have to prove the doubters wrong. I’m a very vindictive person and I’m my Mom-Mom’s child because I do not let go of a grudge. I love my mother and I just lost my father, my best friend a little or a year ago. But as of today, I lost them both. If I don’t see or talk to her again, it would be too soon. When I go to Philly to visit for the holidays, I’m going to see my grandmother’s and my father’s gravesite. You may say that’s harsh, but if you found out that the 1 person that you thought would always be in your corner is only there to make sure you give up, how would you feel??? That was part of the reason I left. My mother is 40 something and still lives with her mom. She has nothing to call her own because my grandmother was like a second mom to my brother and I so she really can only say she birthed us and “helped” raise us.
Looking back at all of my failures throughout my life I realize that my mother played an integral role in all of them. Don’t get me wrong my failures are my failures but you never do anything completely by yourself, normally someone is there that you either modeled yourself after, pushed in one direction or the other, or was just there. So far I’ve failed as a father, a student, and a son. No more. Today is the day I say it to the world, the next time I fail it will be because I tried too hard, not because I gave up.
That’s it for now. Thanks for your time, comments are welcome.
Basim “The Dream”
“Keep Dreamin”
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
You only know what you see. you don't know what it takes to be me.
How can you fairly assess something from the outside looking in? The majority of times, you’ll be wrong, nah’mean? How can a m*th*rf*ck*r go around and hate a nigga he never even met, he don’t even know? – Jay-Z, “Lucky Me”
I’ve been on this journey for 27 years, 6 months, & 24 days young. And I feel lucky today because I took 2 lost people and set them on the path to fulfill their dreams. I told them that since they were disappointed in themselves they should do what motivates them in order to change their circumstances. It sounds like something fairly simple but considering what was put in motion, that sentence was profound. I am one of those people was me.
Even though I’m 27 years, 6 months, & 24 days young, I can’t start at the beginning. I’ll start when I was 13 years young, because that’s when I was introduced to goal setting and I learned that I could do anything I put my mind to. If you did the math, my birthday is May 9th. Well shortly after my 13th birthday, I set 2 goals, 1st that I would not go into high school a virgin and 2nd that I would do everything I could to get into some out of state college. I had to get away from my parents and prove to myself that I could do something by myself.
The 1st goal was not easy at all. I was always good with women, but I had never been past first base and I was deep down the shyest guy you could ever meet. (And I’m still shy, but if you meet me or “know” me, you’ll probably call me cocky, confident, or a number of other antonyms for shy. But that’s from the outside looking in.) Ultimately I reached my goal with just over a week or 2 to spare.
The 2nd goal was my real test. I would have to apply myself more than I knew. I was ill prepared for this. I floated through high school because I wanted to be the “cool guy” in school. I knew the work, hell I finished my freshman algebra book in 3 months, my final grade was a “C”, failure wasn’t an option. I never knew that I was failing myself anyway. In 10th and 11th grade I basically did the same thing. Until the middle of the 3rd quarter of my 11th grade year, I was expelled from my high school because I was blamed for something I didn’t do and I’ve always cut off my nose to spite my face. I was put in my “neighborhood” high school. I was first suspended for a week. During that week I realized that I had pissed away any chances of getting a scholarship. My mom chewed me out every day that I was home. My 1st day at my new school I felt like, “damn they are right about neighborhood schools.” Then I met a few of my teachers. They saw something in me that I thought I had lost around the same time I bust that 1st nut. They saw potential and a need to be successful. Over the next year I felt like I had never been to high school before and had to learn everything all over again. I swear to you that I learned more during that time than I did during my whole school career. I met 3 of my best, lifelong friends during that time. Chris, George, and Frogg (Andre;) They all had the same drive I had.
The day finally came for me to take my first college tour. I only signed up if the school was out of state. I went to the AUC for a week and fell in love. I had to go to Morehouse (or Spelman if I could.) I only applied to Morehouse, Clark Atlanta, Morris Brown College, and Lincoln (my mom put that application in without my knowledge.) The 1st letter came, I didn’t get into Clark. That pretty much let me know I wasn’t getting into Morehouse and the letter confirmed it a few days later. About a week or so later Morris Brown sent me a package and said I was accepted. I’ll take it.
That summer I spent with my eventual roommate Jeff. We drove down to Atlanta together and that set it in motion. We went to freshman orientation and I saw the eventual mother of my children. I had to have her. It took me a while but the story ends with her being the mother of my children, not my wife and yes it ended badly and yes it was probably my fault.
I always thought that if I had children early in my life; my life would be over. Instead I had 2 of the world’s most beautiful children. We both decided that being 10-14 hours from our respective homes couldn’t be a good thing so we didn’t return to school.
Since then I don’t think I’ve made much progress. I was 19 when my son was born. So to come to the realization that I haven’t made much progress was definitely problematic.
I have a beautiful woman in my life now (the other person I set on the path to fulfill their dreams.) She is my everything, she’s there when I need her, she tells me when I’m wrong even if it’s going to hurt me. But I say all this to make sure I categorize stuff before I set my next set of goals.
Goal #1, I have to get a degree. Right now the competition is too close. Even if they aren’t as good as I am, because I’m a Black Man I have to make sure “it’s not even close.” (Thanks Pastor Dr. Waller – Enon Tabernacle, Philadelphia, PA.)
Goal #2, I have to find a religion. (This probably should be 1st.) I know that there is a GOD of some form but I’m scared of religion. I don’t understand how someone can lecture about something that is open to interpretation by everyone who reads it. That goes for all religions.
Goal #3, I have to do better by my kids. Last November I lost my father and my best friend. I want that kind of relationship with my son. I want to be my daughters’ reason that they want to have the best man out there and never settle for anything less than what’s best for them.
Goal #4, I have to do my mind and body better. I am committing to reading at least 1 book a month. I also have to read the Bible and the Quran before my birthday in 2009. I am also committing to running 25-30 miles a week. I also have to lose some weight because I want to play football next year.
That’s it for now. Thanks for your time; I’ll see you hear again in about a week for a check up on my progress. I'm continuing my journey.
Basim “The Dream”
Keep Dreamin!!!
P.S. Now you know a little more than the outside.
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